You are of course very pleased to be here.

Why are you pleased?

You are very pleased because today marks the beginning of an enterprise that will astonish and delight you. Years from now, when the historians of the future are writing the great stories of the 21st century, they will write florid and loving words about this hot sandwich. And if you are still alive (or if you have been thawed out and resurrected) at the time, you will be able to tell those historians that you were here today, the day it all started.

So congratulations to you.

This hot sandwich is what we insiders like to call a "web log." It is like a diary, except that instead of being locked in a drawer to hide it from prying eyes, it is hosted on a public web server and eagerly promoted at the proprietor's every opportunity.

Also, it does not contain very much of that weepy stuff about I am sad when will I ever find someone to understand me I have lost 200lbs. so far on Atkins 200 more to go good luck other low carbers why is my husband such a jerk I don't think I love my mother anymore healing journey blessed be.

So really it's not much of a diary at all. The entries do have date stamps, though.

Like few other web logs, this hot sandwich will contain Top Quality Content™. This, plus the occasional gratuitous nude photo of the proprietor, is what we insiders like to call a "content strategy." It is our recipe for fame and riches.

Do you have questions? Of course you do. Here is a list of them, with answers.

Q. Who is the proprietor of this hot sandwich?

A. Bret Dawson is.

Q. Is B.D. sensible and friendly?

A. Yes.

Q. Is this hot sandwich Bret Dawson's personal web site?

A. Yes.

Q. What is B.D.'s impersonal web site?

A. The cold, indifferent strongsmell.com.

Q. Why have two web sites?

A. Easy. One for short entertaining blasts of internet comedy and analysis, and one for long-form interviews with prominent citizens and taunting the Swiss.

Q. Which one is for which?

A. Knock knock.

Q. Who's there?

A. Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

Q. ...

A. Haw!

Q. ...

A. This hot sandwich is for the short blasts.

Q. ...

A. That was a live demonstration.

Q. Oh.

A. Up yours, assface.
Posted by Bret at 4:54 PM