There is fresh goodness at strongsmell.com today. Yes, All Star Face Off has returned, and this time Bill Cosby is going toe-to-toe with Architecture.

Sorry I didn't manage that on Thursday. I think I had the dropsy but it got better.
Posted by Bret at 6:20 PM

Thursday, February 27, 2003
Apparently they're going sour down south

The lovely and talented Clive, who runs the lovely and talented Collision Detection "web log" when he is not drinking too much coffee or nervously crashing video game cars, sent me a link to a news story from Palm Beach, Florida. Reading it, I learned that a county commissioner there named Burt Aaronson wants his County Commission to officially change the name of french fries to "Freedom fries."

What a good idea. Everyone knows the French do not eat food like that.

I've heard they like to eat large servings of fresh vegetables, and alongside they have small portions of perfectly-roasted rare meats, which are themselves dabbed with exquisitely-seasoned cream sauces. On the side they have a glass of 1961 Chateau Latour Pauillac.

And sometimes they have a big long loaf of bread whose name sounds like a homophobic slur. This is a family "web log" so I will not print it here.
Posted by Bret at 1:54 PM

The pressure builds

The outrageous and amazing thing about Christian Potenza is that everyone you meet thinks he is great. He has fans and supporters across the land. This is understandable, given the man's prodigious comic gifts.

Many of you have sent me questions for Christian Potenza, should I ever screw up the nerve to pursue an interview with him. I thought it would be a good idea to publish them here on this hot sandwich and maintain a running and growing list. That way they will stay at the top of all our minds, and if you or I should run into him on the subway one day, we will have them at the ready and will be able to smoothly change the subject when he suggests everyone get naked.

So. Here are the first questions for Christian Potenza. Remember, it is not too late to add your own.

1. Miracle Whip or mayonnaise?
2. How do you make your face go like that?
3. Aerosol cheese: foodstuff or condiment?
4. Some baiting to get him to say "it's all about balance" would be good too. As in, if I were to take up a career as a tight-rope walker what skills would ensure my success? This would be similar to how Adam Sandler was baiting Henry Winkler into saying the Fonz's catchphrases. He would say "Henry, what's the first letter in the alphabet?". Then of course Fonz would say "A." That would be fun, no?

I have thought of one of my own, as well:

5. Did that lozenge really cure your hoarseness or were you just faking it because you were on T.V.? Because I'm feeling like the lozenges I use are not nearly so effective and maybe I'm buying the wrong kind.
Posted by Bret at 1:22 PM

Tuesday, February 25, 2003
Information about that guy

This is a lot of talking about television, I know. But even if you are a TV-hating Super Snob 3000 DX™, I am confident you will be grateful for the following information.

Do you know this guy?

Of course you do. He is the guy who goes on the subway and eats corn chips and gets distracted and forgets where he is and thinks he is at a party and suggests loudly that everyone get naked.

He is also the guy whose voice is hoarse and whose cries of "fore" are ineffective, until he eats a lozenge.

He is the guy who makes us all happy every time he appears on our televisions. He could read Mr. Dressup's obituary and make it a total gut-buster.

I just talked to his agent because I wanted to know what his name was.

"Christian Potenza," the agent said.

"Ah," I said. Then I asked for his phone number but she wouldn't give it to me. If I want to interview him she might let me, though, if I send her an email outlining who I am and what I want the interview for. So now I'm shy and not sure what to do.

But. Supposing I were going to follow through.

What should I ask Christian Potenza?
Posted by Bret at 12:59 PM

Monday, February 24, 2003
Oh, admit it: you watch too

Tonight on television they showed something called Joe Millionaire: Reaction From The Fallout Shelter. In it, America talked about how much it liked Joe Millionaire and Joe Millionaire talked about how much he liked America.

It was neat.

When it was all done, I felt proud of myself for catching every single frame of the whole JM phenomenon. But a question lingered in my mind. It lingers still. Here it is:

Why were none of the women called "Janae"?

If you have thoughts, I sure would appreciate it if you sent a note. Because I'm so puzzled, see.
Posted by Bret at 9:47 PM