I got two letters today.

Here is what the first one said:

Given the recent "bum" fetish on hotsandwich and the gritty, in-depth coverage of the war on strongsmell (especially the riveting interview with Colon Bowel), I think the time is ripe for a convergence with a hard-hitting topic called:

Weapons of Ass Destruction.

Just a thought.

Yer pal...

(Name witheld for the sake of propriety)

That is a very good idea indeed. Tomorrow, a bold and vigorous new feature will make its debut, either here on this hot sandwich or over on the silky-smooth pages of strongsmell.com. I have not yet decided which so you better check both.

Here is what the other letter said:

Re: Colin Powell

It appears to me that it is plagiarism if attribution is not given where appropriate.

Sincerely,

Your sister

A little background: More than a month ago my sister sent me a letter asking what I thought of Colon Bowel's Iraq-does-SO-have-bad-weapons performance at the UN. I thought the "Colon Bowel" part was vulgar and tasteless, so naturally assumed that my father was responsible. Clearly, he had either come up with it on his own or read it on a bathroom wall somewhere and devoted himself to "spreading" the "meme."

But no. My sister invented it all by herself. So I owe her full credit. Internet content-thieves, please take note:

Any reference to the USA Secretary of State as "Colon Bowel" is the exclusive intellectual property of Paula J. Kelly, who is my sister and is not usually given to public displays of vulgarity or tastelessness but who has clearly made an exception for the benefit of you, the internet public. You are welcome.

Posted by Bret at March 25, 2003 12:37 PM