Remember yesterday's post about fragrance? Remember how it came with convenient links to information about ambergris? Of course you do. It was great.

It was so great it brought out the bard in my father, who sent in the following bit of bawdy verse:

The amazing story of ambergris and The story of female horsey piss Is that neither or either or both of the two Smell anything like you might think they would do.

When a sperm whale spouts sputum from deep in its tummy
It barfs on the ocean a substance so yummy
That wise French parfumers who came from Cologne
Would scoop it and blend it and make it their own

Then bottle and sell it for outlandish prices
To women and men and young gamblers with dices
And when they applied it on neck, nape and knee
Behold they erupted in hornified glee

And sex followed sex and before you could know
There was boy child and girl child wherever you'd go
And too many children got into the way
Of oversexed parents who wanted to stay

Childless, or maybe just one kid or two
But they kept on happening, Oh what could they do?
So then came a horse named Seattle Slew
She used to run fast before going to the zoo.

She said I just think that I have a solution
To stop all this child stuff thing called pollution
I pee in a bottle and give it to you
And you take a drink every time that you screw

Well would you believe that something amazing
Came out of the drinking of horsey pee tasting
The women stayed sexy if cuddled with touch
But they didn't get pregnant not nearly so much

And then some rich Yank who made pills by the scores
Pressed horse piss to tablets behind his lab doors
And sold them to women the whole wide world over
And that is how ambergris came into Dover

And women were happy and felt liberated
And men thought that women had been underrated
And now when a whale honks across the blue sea
A horse whinnies happily when she takes a pee.

Maybe it is time we put my father in a home.

Posted by Bret at March 13, 2003 04:47 PM