A few years ago Kate and I went on a camping trip in Botswana to see the elephants and the hippos. Both kinds of animals, you may be surprised to learn, are big.
It was a group thing. We and ten-or-so other people, plus two guides, went 4x4ing through the swamps and the bushveld, taking many, many photos as we went. Here is one for you to enjoy:
There were two Australians in our party. Their names were Angela (she preferred to be called "Anj") and Susan ("Sue"). They were schoolteachers.
One day we were buying groceries in Maun, which is a lovely town except for its airport bar, which is called "The Tail Spin." Kate and I and Anj and Sue were hanging outside the grocery store afterward enjoying a Fanta when a little ratlike pug-dog came along and sniffed us. It was friendly and wagged its tail at us. Then it turned around and left, holding its tail high in the air. We all got a really clear bullseye view if you know what I mean.
"Hello," said Sue, "he's showing us his date."
"Yuck," said Kate, sensibly.
Afterward, we went for a drive to our next camping spot and built a fire. Then, as the sun set, we all tried hard to find excuses to say "date."
"That dog had the darkest date I've ever seen."
"Kiss my date."
"Boy, prices are high here. They've totally got you bending over and having it up the date."
Etc.
None of this is really worth being proud of but it was before the dotcom bust and there was a lot of silliness going around.
On the weekend, as you will remember, Kate and I watched a TV show about people who like to kiss each other and sometimes more on the bum, totally bullseye. Kate thought of a good name for that kind of unsavoury fun:
"Dating," she said.
Haw!
Now you know.
To Jeff Liu, who helpfully sent in a pamphlet about something called "rimming," I have two things to say:
1. Please do not send any more pamphlets.
2. Yuck.
