Just as I promised, today I will provide a helpful service for University of Texas students enrolled in Stan Gunn's Information in Cyberspace (LIS-312sg | TLC-311). This is a class about the internet and "computers," so it is vastly more intimidating and spooky than most for-credit programs.
If you are taking this course and struggling with fear and self-doubt as you attempt to complete the current assignment, "Documenting a weblog," relax. Help is here. I am about to give you all the answers you need.
1. Who is the intended audience of this weblog?
Audiences are for wimps.
Real men have CUSTOMERS.
Please send me five dollars.
2. Why do you think motivates the author of this weblog?
1. A childish need for attention.
2. Also greed. Five dollars, please.
3. And deep-seated feelings of superiority. Stan Gunn, please note that this question should be "What do you think motivates the author of this weblog?". Not "Why".
4. Want to hear a joke? Okay.
A duck walks into a pharmacy and asks, "Got any grapes?" The pharmacist, confused, tells the duck no, his pharmacy doesn't sell grapes."O.K.!" says the duck. Then he waddles out.
The next day, the duck returns and says, "Got any grapes?"
Again, the pharmacist tells him no.
"This is a pharmacy. We sell medicines here. We fill prescriptions. We don't have any grapes."
"O.K.!" says the duck, who leaves.
The next day, the duck comes back, approaches the dispensary, waits patiently for the pharmacist to make eye contact, and then asks his question:
"Got any grapes?"
"No," the pharmacist sighs. "Go away."
"O.K.!" says the duck. He leaves.
The next day, the duck comes back in.
"Got any grapes?"
"Dammit," the pharmacist says, "we've been over this. We do not sell grapes. We have never sold grapes. We never will sell grapes, ever.
"O.K.!" The duck waddles out.
The next day, the duck returns.
"Got any grapes?"
The pharmacist grabs him by the neck and yells at him.
"Look, duck, this is a pharmacy! We do not sell grapes! If you ever, ever ask me for grapes again, I will nail your miserable fucking little webbed duck feet to the floor!"
"O.K.!" The duck waddles out.
The next day, the duck comes back in.
"Got any nails?"
"Uh," the pharmacist says, "no."
"Got any grapes?"
3. Who is writing the weblog?
I don't know. I think it's somebody named Brent or Brett or something.
4. How often do they add entries to their site?
Once.
5. Why do you think the creator established this weblog?
This is the same question as #2. Redundancy offends me. Try harder, Stan!
6. Do you find yourself agreeing or disagreeing with the author? Why?
I'm going to reserve judgement until this aerosol cheese thing is resolved. Goooooo condiment!
Posted by Bret at February 14, 2003 05:24 PM