I don't know how to write film treatments but I would very much like to have one of my ideas turned into a movie.

So.

I thought I would just put the idea here, and if any film producers happen by they can arrange for all the actors and the caterers and whatnot, and then just mail the royalty cheques and the premiere invitation to my house when the edit is complete.

Here's the idea:

Independent wine critic by day, ninja cop by night

See, there's this guy named Bob, and he puts out an independent publication (okay, zine) which is full of his own reviews of wine. He likes New World stuff mostly, especially big juicy flavourful reds that the mainstream critics look down on. Bob stands alone in his opposition to all those wine writers who won't shut up about "minerality" and "terroir." Bob does this because he thinks "minerality" is a euphemism for "tastes like percolated ass" and "terroir" is a euphemism for "tastes like lumps of dirt-encrusted ass."

And at night, he's a ninja cop. So he's probably going to need some of those slippers with toes.

Posted by Bret at February 3, 2003 03:43 PM