The plural of "matrix" is "matrices."

That is pronounced "MAY-tress-SEEEES"

Which frankly sounds a lot like the word "mattresses," as pronounced by the Scots.

What does this mean for you, the internet public? It means that if you are a Scot, you are finding all this talk about Matrix this and Matrix that uncomfortably titillating. Yet despite your best meditative efforts you have not figured out why this is the case.

"Is it the hot Caucasians in snug vinyl?" you have asked yourself.

"No," you have answered.

"Well," you have responded, "What is it, then?"

Now you know. It is that once there was a Matrix, and then there was another Matrix, and now there are two Matrices, and that sounds to your filthy Scottish inner ear like "two mattresses," and that has your libido off to the races.

You Presbyterians really ought to try tickling yourselves once in a while. It will help you let off the steam and you will find yourself making fewer ribald remarks at work.

Also, it will tone your triceps.

Posted by Bret at May 27, 2003 09:57 PM