A few years ago it was very popular to drink a cocktail called the "Cosmopolitan." This was mostly because of that TV show where Sarah Jessica Parker does not show her breasts.

For a time on that TV show, see, all the characters drank Cosmopolitans all the time, even for breakfast. And I, being someone who generally likes cocktails, thought I ought to make one for myself and see what all the fuss was about.

The Cosmopolitan was OK. It was fine. It was sweet and unthreatening. I did not see what the big deal was. So I took it upon myself to improve the recipe.

Did I succeed brilliantly? Yes I did.

My new drink is called the Persian Tart. Here is how to make one.

First, take a cocktail glass and put it in your freezer.

Next, squeeze the juice from a pomegranate. It is now pomegranate season, so you will find pomegranates at your local supermarket and you will not need to phone an exotic fruit importer or anything.

Next, fill a cocktail shaker halfway with ice.

Next, measure out one shotglass full of vodka. Pour it into the cocktail shaker.

Next, measure out three-quarters of a shotglass of Triple Sec or Cointreau or Grand Marnier or something similarly orangey and boozy. Pour it into the cocktail shaker.

Next, squeeze the juice of half a lime into the cocktail shaker.

Next, measure out one-and-a-half shotglasses of pomegranate juice. Pour it into the cocktail shaker.

Next, put the lid on the cocktail shaker and shake the bejeepers out of it.

Next, take the cocktail glass out of the freezer and pour your Persian Tart into it. It will be a deep ruby colour and slightly foamy. Its taste will be bracing and tannic and outrageously delicious. You will tingle from head to toe. You will feel like doing the Dance of the Seven Veils.

Next, do not show anyone your breasts.

Posted by Bret at September 24, 2003 10:43 AM