Do you remember AGT?

AGT was a Crown corporation in the Canadian province of Alberta. Its full name was "Alberta Government Telephones."

Do you remember BCTel?

BCTel was a Crown corporation in the Canadian province of British Columbia. Its full name was "BCTel."

AGT and BCTel were the phone companies in Alberta and B.C. They made sure there was dial tone when you picked up the handset. They charged you a lot of money to talk to people in Zambia and Moose Jaw. Then one day the governments of Alberta and B.C. decided they didn't want to run phone companies anymore and sold off AGT and BCTel.

It was a recipe for loneliness and despair. But, happily, AGT and BCTel found each other and saved each other from heartbreak. They got married and became one flesh. And they changed their name to "Telus."

Today Telus is a big-ass phone company with ambitions of becoming a really big-ass phone company. They still do dial tone in Alberta and B.C., but they now also do cellphones in the rest of the country.

A few years ago Telus swallowed and assimilated a little cellphone company called "Clearnet" and stole their very clever branding, which mostly involved cute little ladybugs and flowers and chameleons. This is why there are now pigs and frogs and lizards all over your TV. Telus is trying to win your business with them.

It is probably not working.

Where is the evidence that it is not working, you ask? Here it is once more, for your reference:

Telus just recently started a new approach. Instead of using critters to sell you their cellphones, They have made the cellphones themselves look like toilet seats.

That will definitely work. I am totally buying one of those, let me tell you.

Posted by Bret at October 31, 2003 09:50 PM