If you are a gentleman living in Ontario and you have recently had your prostate examined you are probably feeling uncomfortable right now.

Check that. If you have recently had your prostate examined you are probably feeling uncomfortable right now no matter where you live. This is understandable. The prostate is a gland located deep inside your rear end, see, so having it examined consists of a thorough and vigorous probing. In the rear end. Sometimes this is performed with just a physician's loving fingers. Other times it involves an ultrasound transducer.

For your convenience a photo of just such a device appears at the top of this post. Can you guess what category of device it belongs in? Correct! It is an ARS Probe.

Now. In addition to the considerable discomfort inherent in a prostate exam, gentlemen in Ontario have fresh cause for concern. This is because it has recently come to light that many hospitals in that fair province have not been doing a good scraping off the ARS Probes between uses.

Here is how the procedure is supposed to work:

1. "Please drop trou, sir."
2. "Please show us your date, sir."
3. (Buzzing sound.)
4. (Sung) "Moon river, wider than a mile."
5. "Thank you sir. Would you like a lollipop to take home?"
6. Enthusiastic washing.
7. "Hello sir. The technician will be right with you."
8. "Please drop trou, sir."
9. Etc.

The problem is that everyone has been forgetting about step 6. That is unfortunate. Normally I refrain from moral judgments here at this hot sandwich, but today I will make an exception. Here is my moral judgment:

Failing to wipe the ARS Probes between uses is not acceptable. Try harder, health professionals!

That is all.

Posted by Bret at November 18, 2003 01:06 PM