If you are a regular consumer of fine internet content, you probably have read the recent screed from Gordie of the Rocks about a rock band called "Rush". If you have not, you should go read it now. It is a really super good screed.
You see, Gordie of the Rocks had such a terrific time at a recent Rush concert that he nearly burst. Then he went home and wrote his screed, in which he says that rock musicians these days do not practice their diminished ninth chords frequently enough.
The musicians in Rush play a lot of diminished ninth chords. they are super good at it. Except for the drummer. He mostly just bangs on things with sticks.
I once went to see Rush with Gordie of the Rocks and our mutual friend Lisa C., and I can report that it was a jolly good time indeed. It was loud and there were laundry machines on the stage, which made up for all the lyrics inspired by Ayn Rand. I actually kind of like Rush.
So I will not try to rebut GOTR's points, except to say this:
A rock musician should never do any of the following:
- Wear a kimono.
- Grow a moustache.
- Wear white satin trousers.
- Sport a man cameltoe.
- Record a song containing any of the following phrases:
Stealthily attacking
By-Tor slays his foe
The men are free to run now
From labyrinths below - Also, a rock musician should not marry Valerie Bertinelli.
- Or Kate Hudson.
- Or Gwyneth Paltrow.
- Rock musicians should not get married at all, really, because their spouses will just telephone in the middle of the recording session and spoil all the man fun.
- Kiss wrote a song about that once. It was called "Beth, Please Don't Spoil The Man Fun".
- Kiss also wrote a song called "You Make Me Rock Hard".
- Also, rock musicians should wear more codpieces.
Comments from you, the internet public:
What i cant stand is people who try and take a stab at one of the best bands in the world and try and get away with it... this "banging" you read was just the rythms and beats of the best drummer in the world. Being a drummer myself, i would know that.. so your article may be funny but dont use such crappy material
Posted by Justis at February 14, 2005 08:07 PMOne more thing...
5. Record a song containing any of the following phrases:
Stealthily attacking
By-Tor slays his foe
The men are free to run now
From labyrinths below
That is possibly the best song by rush; The Necromancer.... 12 minuets of pure rock....
Posted by Justis at February 14, 2005 08:12 PMYou´re so stupid. Who the hell do you think you are?? Rush is one of the best rock bands of all time. I´m sure you´re the type of people that stays the whole day in front of the PC doing nothing. Maybe the fashion of the 70´s was a little bit creepy, the way Rush rocks is what matters here. Ass hole!!
Posted by El Coke at March 30, 2005 01:34 PMwell this is pretty stupid of him to talk shit about one of the best drummers (The best of our life time). says he just bangs on things...well so are u saying jimi hendrix just "plays on things", or babe ruth was just a ball player.. the point is .. dont be dissing the best. It only proves you have nothing better to do! I'm almost 18 and i've been a percussionist for about 6 years.. i've heard alot of music(mostly classic rock) and Rush is by far on e of the best drumming bands ever.. just listening to neil has taught me how to play. Don't put down the best until you know who he is and what he is about.
Posted by mike at March 30, 2005 05:01 PMfucking dick head making fun of rush The Best Band In The World.
Posted by bobby burosso at May 17, 2005 01:58 PMYeah, I'd say Justis is right, Rush is one of the best bands out there, if not the best. Peart is amazing, and so is Geddy and Alex. I play bass myself and to read this guy's attempt at insulting Rush is pretty funny, so I just had to say something.
Rock On! RUSH kicks ass
-Anthony
Posted by Anthony at May 23, 2005 06:27 PMWHAT A JACKASS, RUSH IS THE BEST CLASSIC ROCK BAND THATS STILL AROUND, AND TO SAY NEIL JUST BANGS ON THINGS IS PRETTY UNBELIEVABLE, WATCH THE GUY, HE'S A GOD BEHIND THE SET, WATCH 'O BATERISTA' AND TELL ME HE BANGS ON THIS, YOU IGNORANT PIECE OF SHIT, LONG LIVE ROCK..... LONG LIVE RUSH... OH YEAH, YOUR WEBSITE SUCKS, YOU NEED A NEW HOBBY DUDE, MOVE OUT OF YOUR MOMS APARTMENT FOR STARTERS, HAH, NICE LIFE
Posted by RUSH FAN at May 23, 2005 06:36 PMPost a comment of your own:
13. Speaking of codpieces, W.A.S.P. are playing in my fine city on Sunday. I will be there. It will be loud. They will play L.O.V.E. Machine and Animal (F**k Like A Beast). I will be happy. I will also be tired on Monday.
14. Winger wrote a song called "Seventeen". That's funny.
15. Warrant wrote a song called "Cherry Pie". Not really that funny.
16. Alex Lifeson. Great guitar player. Lousy fighter. Great mugshot.
17. Ann Wilson. Genetic problem or just a big eater?
18. If you were a hotdog would you eat yourself? I know I would. With lots of relish.
Posted by Samuel L. Bronkewitz at August 27, 2004 08:51 PM